QCS

is lame.
hate it hate it hate it. QCS should commit social suicide, that or i will shoot it in the head.
although i managed to fit the fake name fredericke van scossenhoff in a quote for my writing task.
and chocolate mudcake was amazing.

1st september 2009

quote of the day.

"i quite like food, it's probably one of my most favourite things."

xx louisemay
sweet dreams.

p.s. stressed to the max. i need some soothing music and God time.

20th august 2009. 8:52pm

mondays.

a monday is the worst day of the week. out of the 7 i dislike it most.
seriously what is with this day, i don't know anyone who likes mondays, we should delete it and replace it with a new day called funday.
it would be impossible to hate this day unless you are emo and just blatantly do not like having fun.
ohk so today on a monday, i was sick.. on a funday it would be impossible to be sick.
so today i had to go to school half way through the day despite the fact i was sick because i couldnt miss biology... on a funday biology would not exist.
so in biology i set up my whole experiment only to find that the ridiculous other class had used all of the agar plates and there was none left. on fundays there would be endless amounts of agar plates.
then cb was quite the gentleman and let me use 6 of his agar plates so that i could at least start. see that was just plain nice, wouldnt change that.
ohk enough whinging from me..
today was rather fun despite the fact i was sick, that bit sucked. haha at lunch i got really excited because i remembered something funny from the weekend and i just had to tell my friends. so i was so excited that i almost jumped in the air (but i was sitting so i couldnt) and i clapped in absolute joy to myself as a child would. so everyone is looking at me and i'm about to tell this story and then i remembered how funny it was and started laughing and then i couldnt stop laughing (not even to share the story) and i laughed so hard i cried and i'm not talking a few tears i'm talking all out bawling, tears streaming down my face.
then everyone else who had been sitting watching me waiting for this tremendous story starting laughing also, not with me but at me until we were all sitting there just laughing.

and i never even told my story.
but it was definately a highlight.
that and singing childhood jesus songs with georgia.
"let the flag fly high in the castle of my heart, in the castle of my heart, in the castle of my heart.
let the flag fly high in the castle of my heart, becuase the king is in residence here......"

now off to do my maths assignment... on a funday there would be no maths assignments.

goodnight world
xx louisemay.

monday 17th august 2009

justin and larry's 17th.

i am at a really unsure point in my life at the moment.
some days are amazing, absolutely brilliant, some days feel like hell, real down in the dumps.
i think people call this moodiness.

i don't know how to describe me at the moment but i want to share the highlights.

this year so far.
in no specific order..

the best raisin toast in the world. youth 07/08/09

stacks on! moment capture. me and georgia. youth 07/08/09

hyperactive. billa 09retro lollies. fake teeth. billa.

crayon and riding hood. couran katie. allie. me. couran.

table dance. single ladies. 12A the competitive team. me and alli, we aim high.

band shots. momentous. dinner @ couran cove.

seniors 09. couran cove.

me and ace. fancy dress. black and white masquerade ball. couran cove. wallumbilla!!!

mia's 18th. starting with an M.

my 17th. epic.

youth one night, dylan gained a bit, i lost a bit.

me and lizzy dear at school. i love her.

out the windows. wallumbilla. on the train tracks. wallumbilla

blondes + 1. wallumbillame and marcus. wallumbilla team.

billa team. they had no idea.

high on jesus. billa

me and justin. june/july holiday hangs. sporty kids rep. uq excursion.

amy, sina, jade and me. uq. seniors 09. athletics carni

me and rach. mia's 18th.

all my love

louisemay

x.

10th july 2009. 9:06pm

sorry about the lack of blogs lately. but i've been a bit busy and a lot of stuff has been going on in my home life that i am not comfortable to put on here. it's been pretty scary at times.
i'll fill you in in basic form real quick.

stuff that has been hurting me for a long time finally came out, this was how i was on the inside. i got to the point where the barriers i held them in couldn't maintain a hold and lock any longer, i broke inside and it all came flooding out in one great go. This was the worst it has been. (and there has been a lot- sorry i can't tell you details)

i broke down completely and now i have to try and rebuild.

i know i'm not on my own anymore. but i have to keep reminding myself that i can't actually do things on my own. i need Him. i need Jesus in my life to keep me sane, and keep me strong, and keep me together in one piece.

He is rebuilding me from the inside out and i'm trusting in the power of prayer. i know He will help me when i am alone and feel like giving up and He has sent amazing people to keep me going when i feel like giving up. Thank you Lord, all praise to you.

i had a rainbow day today after quite a while with way too much grey and only little sparks of colour in the distance. it's days like these that make it all worth it. maybe everyone who has been saying to give it time has a point. after all my God told me that everything will be okay, so i know i'll make it through, and be stronger for it.

and i am so thankful for being able to do athletics today, it's true that exercise really does release endorphins and put you in a good mood. other awesome things that followed only helped. i may not be completely over it all yet, but it's some big things i have to push through, and some parts where God has to carry me, but at least i know i am going to make it through, it is just gonna take a lot of work, a lot of time and a lot of faith and patience.

no matter what happens tomorrow, no matter what comes my way. i know i'm going to keep on going, i just gotta keep the faith and find other places that God has blessed me with that i can channel my hurt and frustrations.

umm just a spontaneous prayer..

Thank you Jesus for sport, for art, and for my friends. Thank you for the amazing things and people you've blessed me with to help me in my times of trouble and frustration.

I pray that one day I can return the favour and be that little bit of hope or inspiration to keep on battling for someone else.

I ask that you can continue to work in my life and give me a spirit of understanding and patience. I pray that you will help me not to bear a burden for things out of my control, and that you will intercede when I try to punish myself for things in the past.

Lord give me a new focus and new light and I pray that I will not be so easily distracted from the important things in life.

Thank you for all things beautiful and wonderful in this creation of yours, thank you for your forgiveness and eternal life.

In your precious name,

Amen.

so thats it for now.

gonna hit the hay, i'm exhausted.

love forever,

louise may xx

10:10pm 30th july 2009

p.s happy birthday justin! you are a true, loyal and trustworthy friend, an inspiration to me and really a God-send when i am in trouble. :)

5 key things

1. excitement today as i hit the basketball courts again for the first time in almost 8 months. that's insane. i may have only been refereeing, and only a little bit, but it's a start.
road to recovery is long and horrible. can't wait till i can start playing again!

2. athletics carnival yesterday. it was amazingly fun! i love sports days, it was my last ever.. so so so so so so so sad!!!
oh and elliot (my house) won!!! woot. only bad thing is we didnt win war cries for the first time in for-EVER!!! it's like a tradition that elliot wins. and we came sencond to booth. erggghh. how did that happen? we feel like we let down all of the past years, but we worked our asses off, seriously caitlin b passed out after because she was so stuffed from it. we should have won. it was rigged lol.
but the rest was amazing. i ran in everything, and got super involved and loved the whole day, oh and i came 2nd in 400m, 3rd in 800m. yewww!!!

3. mmm, so then last night was youth, and that was good in parts not so much in others. 1. it was freezing and we did a lot of outside stuff, progressive dinner. it didnt go that well. probably could have been more fun in places, the cold may have had something to do with this.
praise and worship was pretty good, started off not great, but got a lot better, till my sister came to pick me up a good half hour before youth was supposed to end. she can be so rude. i swear family doesnt understand that i honestly love God, i have faith in him, and i want to go to youth and church FOR THAT REASON, not because it's some form of weird cult or something (they actually act like it is). sister takes every chance she gets to pay it out, mock it, and say how bad it is, and seriously mum has no problem with me going out with non christian friends, doing who knows what, with who knows who, till all hours of the night. but she's really iffy about me going to church and youth or hanging out with friends afterwards (including at the youth pastors house AKA safest place in the world) and will make any excuse of why i am not allowed to go. i don't get it.

4. ohkay, a small joy. i had 2 conversations with ben that didnt involve the crappy thing i did, or the aftermath, or anything like that. may have only been passing conversation, like small talk, that didnt last very long at all. but hey, it's a start.

5. i am so thankful for Jesus Christ my Saviour and the forgiveness he brought to the world.

goodnight world.
xx louise may.

saturday 18th july 2009 7:04pm

school.

first day back at school after holidays today. i was sorta of, no, totally dreading it. term 3 of year 12 begins, the most important term. so much pressure to succeed. well succeed by the standards of my school, not by my own standards. success to me, is being happy right where you are. not studying and working till your brain explodes. and i havnt even tapped into the rumour factor yet. i think that what i dislike most, a personal life is never personal as long as your are in highschool. i guess people just can't help themselves. they have to know everything. and they find out one way or another, or just pick up bits and pieces they've heard and create their own truths.
i don't want anyone to get the wrong idea.
i guess thats a bit too late hey.

here's some photo's i found that kind of explain my angst towards going back to school.


p.s sorry if i'm a bit moody tonight. stressed already.


i wish i was this age again.
learning my abc's.
the world was so big.
life was so simple.
...i was much cuter than this kid though. haha.


i just love this classroom.
pretty random.
but it's old school cool.


this is what the board always looks like to me.
a scribble of things i try too hard to understand.
and if it's bio we're talking about, i exhaust myself trying.


found this on deviant art today.
thought it was funny.
it was titled: too much school will kill you.


art prac work.
it's my relief of the week.
this subject seriously gets me through the week.

found this definition of highschool on the internet:
highschool n.
that point in your life when you realise that everything CAN get worse and everyone IS out to get you...

well, it made me laugh.

tomorrow will be better. i promise.

living in the present, not the past or future.

goodnight world.
xx louise may.

11:03pm 14th July 2009